There was a George Lopez episode that I saw one time (I've actually seen them all) where his mom would object to George saying good things or being happy, because it would bring disaster and harm upon you. A lot of people believe this, whether spoken or not. Others think you shouldn't mention good, because others have it bad and that your good will make them feel bad.
But, what's the point of the potential for happiness if you can't let yourself be happy? Why should the good be kept quiet, when the bad gets evangelized or noted daily. Indeed, those living in the struggle needs to know there is a potential on the other side for something good in order to believe and push through... and they want to have that hope.
I'm in the best relationship of my life. It is pure and true, and things are clicking and flowing like I always believed was possible but never saw. Down towards the last few years, I felt I had missed my opportunity and that it was for others. Then, I met her. It's been a fairy tale since... like... stories you hear about but never see. And, while we are both introverts that don't like a lot of social attention and like the quiet personal connection, I do feel it is worth noting some of the amazingness of it to help and inspire others.
First, as I've noted, recently, safety and security is key. Being able to openly confide in each other about your fears, past, struggles, and personal doubts about yourself while knowing the other person will not judge you for it is delicious and liberates you to exchange your fears for love and your walls for bridges.
Next, being able to have fun together is important. The ability to separate yourself from challenges to instead spend time enjoying time with each other is important. I can think of several times when things in my mind dealing with other things still wasn't resolved, but I made a decision that I'd RATHER spend my time with her and joy and love... so I did. She has done the same. This allows us to recharge each other to leave and face the challenges anew.
Connected to that is what I've mentioned in a past blog. Your relationship should never be you vs your partner but should be your partner and you vs the challenges. Be on the same side. Your goal SHOULD be their happiness. If it is, winning doesn't always mean being right. You should value their happiness and confidence as high or higher than your own. When both have this attitude, it's magical... and we do.
Effort. A personal lack from my past was people making an effort on behalf of me.. or to please me. My past relationships was one way in that regard. So, having it flowing both ways is unusual for me and actually goes a long way in restoring my faith in humanity. But, like intimacy of sharing weaknesses, you can't wait til the other person does it to begin. You do it, and their response will tell you if they are good or not.
There's a lot of points I could make, but I'll end with this for now. As you are exploring each other and learning about each other, taking time to try their things and discover shared interests is important. You may not know what you'll like in their world, if all you have ever focused on is your world. In our case, we already shared so many likes, opinions, habits, and hobbies. But, I've learned many new food types, tv shows, and much more by taking an interest in what made her... her.
So, im gonna let our light keep shining, and I hope this blog and our example will help others light their own, as well.
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