Personal Update

I haven't done a personal update in a while.  There's certain parts of my life that need not be disclosed, but I do think it's worthwhile to not the other parts, because there's an awesome transition taking place, much like a few years ago when I had about 6 months of transition, as well.  You can generally tell from looking at my playlists.  I create them with guidance from within, and in periods of transition you'll see a lot of new songs and new themes that grow and dominate.. as has been happening for weeks, now.

So, where to begin.  There are several new themes and foundational concepts that are driving me.  

I do not feel the need to justify myself or even in many cases even explain myself.  I spent so much of my life doing that to people that would keep on judging me, anyways.  Further, they aren't "my people" that would understand me, anyways.. so why bother.  Let them go on with their happy delusion.

I do not feel I should hide my experience or the conclusions to which they led me.  It may be unconventional and make some uncomfortable, but then... the things said or concluded come from the evidence of my observations.  If they don't like it, they should have and can always CHANGE it.  If not, I can only conclude what I have observed.

My life is elevating, and it is happening in absence of many past critics.  It is happening in absence of a relationship partner.  It is happening while I'm openly "blasphemous" and heretical to many religious, and I'm glad about that... because otherwise they'd be saying "GOD" was making it happen.  I'm pretty sure those people wouldn't be thinking GOD is on my side (whether or not true), because that makes their perception of what God would bless or curse wrong... and they'd have to stop judging others. 

I'm happy being single.  Will I stay that way?  I don't know.  But, every time I start to consider changing it, I have thoughts of how a relationship was in the past.. not just the rosy moments but periods of self doubt, anxiety, and pains in conflict and collapse.  I am still not sure it's worth it as a whole.  IF it happens the only way I can visualize it is if I just hang out and enjoy experience of things with someone long enough to feel safe with them doing that long term.  So.. we'll see.

Finally, there is no point looking back.  There's nothing for me in the way it used to be.  There's only forward, and that adventure is where all my focus will lie.