Acceptance

"Know that they will be loved."  Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

I was going to just do a social media post, but it's blog worthy, as it teaches an important lesson.. albeit painful one on my behalf.  I thought I was just taking a break to watch the movie of the quote, above.  However, it had both political application and personal one.  I won't get into the political one on here.  This post is on the personal one.  And, looking back over the past week, I have been being prepared for it... in true Dr Strange like or divinity fashion.

First... limited backstory, as I have already discussed it at various times and going over it, again, would not be appropriate for the lesson.  My ex in very harsh and deceptive and controlling fashion, as true to my entire experience of being with her controlling me and condemning me when I didn't go alone with her agenda, seized control of and lied to my children to turn them away from me... this, despite all my efforts on her behalf and on behalf of my children for decades.  I would spend a long time mourning the loss and trying to find a way to change my outcome.  Eventually, I would realize that there was nothing I could do but hope that they would realize the truth and come to me... still feeling depressed and stunted from the entire experience.

Then, this week... a quiet voice of reason began to whisper what would come full volume in that quote of the movie, and I literally paused the movie and cried... but tears of release.  What I began to consider... against my will.. was that my ex should have time with her children, and it was a good thing that they had their mom... even IF she was intent to attack and exclude me from their lives.  I do know this... it's one reason I didn't call the cops on her, after I asked my child if I should fight it or not out of not wanting to hurt them by hurting their mom.. taking the courtesy that she would not show to me.

The reality is, even with her religiously judgmental and controlling fashion, she is their mom. She loves them in her own way, which I even said to my child when they were upset at how their mom treated them.  They are being loved, and I am out of the picture... involuntarily but accurately.  

So... I release them.  I have good memories with them, but as I have also been slowly walked to conclude... it's over.  I release my anger at my ex.  I release my desire to bring anything from the past back to the present.  As with Wanda in all of her stories, at some point you have to accept that things have changed and to begin to move forward.  I have already taken steps to that end, but this is me saying I release the pain so that my future can be free to build new joys, knowing as relates to my children.. they are loved.