I was reading, today, about customer service, and the article was listing several different ways that people typically respond to conflict. It was going along as I expected, and then it got to the bad option of accommodation.... yeah... that was my reaction, too. I was like what is so wrong about accommodation? But, the more that I read and the more that I thought about it, I realized that they were right.
Accommodation sounds like a good thing. After all, you are pleasing someone else for what they desire or want. They would be happy.... right? Not always and not necessarily for long. When you accommodate someone, the message that you are sending is that you care more about someone's happiness than either the truth or rules and procedures. A thief, for example, might be accommodating someone else that they want to pay. And, if you are more interested in making someone happy, you might avoid telling them uncomfortable truths, which can ultimately end up even hurting the person they are trying to please, even more.
Further, if you are always bent on sacrificing your integrity and needs to make someone else happy, you will ultimately find yourself feeling resentment to the person for whom you gave so much, especially if that person takes your accommodation and then abandons you to your own consequences of giving them so much... rightly or wrongly.
Accommodation is born of good intentions, but they do not recognize boundaries or personal needs. They are not focused on truly addressing the needs of others but only motivated by the desire to have an emotional benefit. The truth is often less pleasant but more productive. And, I DO understand THAT concept... honoring the value of truth, even when it leads to isolation or unpopularity.
So, I decided to add this to my blog, because the path to long lasting happiness will, very often, mean sticking true to your principles and standing your ground for boundaries and what is best for you, even if it makes others frown, sometimes.
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