Who We Are and Who We're Not

 ""Who are YOU?” said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I–I hardly know, sir, just at present– at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”" Alice in Wonderland 

It's a valid point.  We all change.  We change from the struggles we face.  We change from what we learn about others and ourselves.  We change from disappointment and pain.. probably mostly that.  However, just like our skin completely replacing itself and our body maturing, who we are is not who we were or who we'll be.

One thing is for sure, though.  We are not who others say we are.  They often have a predetermined box they want to fit us in and will not see us in any other way.  If you try to show them who you've been, they'll just say that was an image you tried to show.  Further, the images of others that want to find fault in you will often not agree with each other.  At this moment if you believed my critics, I would be too hard and masculine, too soft and sensitive, too career focused, not career focused enough, too spiritual, not spiritual enough, too logical, not logical enough, too old, too young, too white, not white enough, too serious, too carefree... you get the point.  People decide to dislike you, and then they look for a reason to do so.  And,  if you don't give them one, they will make one.  Personally, I think it's better to spend your time with those looking for your good and reason to like you than those looking for flaws and who scowl or scoff at your attempts and steps to better yourself. 

Who are you?  You are whoever you want to be, because it's your wants and likes that distinguish you.  If you let others define that for you, you've lost your very own soul, sold to the highest bidder.  Better to live your life and decide your path, yourself.  Happiness doesn't come from surrendering yourself for those that only like you when you make them feel good.  Happiness comes from the peace of knowing you always have yourself as a fan and finding others who agree.