Wasted Days

I've learned a lot of lessons over my life, but this one might be most important to share to help others.  Don't waste your life chasing things not meant right be.

I get it.  It's hard to do.  If you're like me, you put everything of yourself into the things you felt worthy to attempt. You don't want to acknowledge it not working .. in PART because it means you made a mistake in choosing the attempt. But, if you spend all your time chasing or mourning what didn't work, you are losing hours and days you can be happy without them.  Notice I didn't say with someone else.  You have to be happy on your own without them, or you'll be looking to the new person to do that the last didn't, which is not fair to you or the new person.

Unfortunately, you can't know if something works or not without trying.  So, you have to keep trying with an open mind at the start but also being objective... not looking for faults just being realistic.. and willing to walk away if it only seems to drain or harm you without adding anything back to you... not rushing to judgment but when you get a clear enough picture to know..  it's always going to be like this.  I'd also suggest taking your time to get too close.  That way, it's easier to walk away if bad without causing anyone harm.  So.. like dating, I'd suggest dating or talking to more than one casually.  If someone you just met has a problem with that, they are going too fast and may just be looking to use YOU to get over or replace someone else... they don't know you enough to be that close, yet.  

If you take your time and just have fun exploring, you won't find yourself years down the road with someone that only takes from you but you married them, anyways, and then feel obligated to stay.  Honestly... divorce has gotten a bad rap.  If someone is suffering in a relationship, being single can be very healing to them, and it is definitely better for those suffering abuse or more.

Another Christian era restriction that MOST if not all older people disregard is no sex til marriage.  I dont think I've EVER met a divorced woman that still believes that.  Sex is something you'll be doing a lot and NOT for reproduction at that age.  So, you better know you'd like doing it with them...the closeness.. the quiet whispers or kisses... I'm not talking about technique.  So, it's am important part of being able to consider BEFORE you make a long term commitment.

There is a lot of steps that goes into dating in older ages, and most you meet are still figuring it out, themselves.  But, you'll save yourself a lot of wasted days to take your time having fun while trying... or if you expect perfection off the bat you won't even like trying at all and waste time you could have fun with it, as well.