Come What May

As I was driving over to initiate my background check for my new job, I wrestled with a little anxiety for a while.  I thought  .. what if they reject me?  I don't have any criminal record.  I am not in default of any government debt.  I haven't been fired from a job.  But, my periods of being out of work due to surgery and forced recovery over the last year SERIOUSLY impacted my credit report.  While it is a small blip in a lifetime credit history it IS something they take into consideration.  So, I questioned... what if they reject me?  What if after all this I am turned down and have to tell others I didn't get the job?  What does that say about me?  What does that mean about my future?

Then, I realized several truths I've noted before and let the anxiety go.

1.  It says nothing about me or my future that there are mistakes along an otherwise good path.  Some people, including relationship partners, focus on the negative because they want to find a reason to reject you.  Others look at the good to find a reason to like you.  It's all in perspective.  Indeed, even looking to the future, people will say good will come to you if you want.  That's true... eventually something good will happen.  It's also true that if you wait something bad will happen.  In the end, perspective determines outcome.

2.  I've had a life of overcoming challenges.  If this ends up not happening, I'll just carry on.

3.  I'm already in a good position.  I know it doesn't feel like it coming down to the bottom in the budget weekly, but that's been the result of a series of UN natural or expected things I've had to overcome...and overcome I have.  I've paid off back bills and had distractions this week that go away. Beyond this point is rises at a rate of up to 700 dollars extra every month, WITHOUT this job.

4.  I qualify for other higher paying accounting jobs.  Not all jobs will have all these hoops to clear.  If it is not this job, it will be another.

5.  Finally, the important thing is I believed in myself to keep trying... keep rising, and that will continue. 

As the saying goes, you only lose when you give up, and I draw peace from knowing I'll continue to be myself and rise... come what may.  Anyone that us just looking for a reason to condemn me... and there are plenty that feel I should fail for one reason or a other in a non friendly way.. will I'm sure find satisfaction in the low points on my way to the top.