Yes. I know I already posted today, and I know that I already posted on this subject HERE. But, it's been developing in my head, and I feel that it is important to post on it, today as well.
In just a few days, I will be moving back to Oklahoma, where I spent ten years before coming to Florida and in total maybe another 11-12 years of my life before that in different locations. It will be good for me to be back there for many reasons... economic, family, foundation, familiarity, and a good reset turning point for my life away from all the stressors that has controlled much of my choices and life for many years. But, I didn't get the decision to go back there from following unrealistic visions or feeling the need to "stick it out" to prove something to anyone or myself. I didn't pray for a sign and follow that, either. I recall exactly when I made the decision. It was maybe a month ago or more. I was sitting on my bed and reflecting on the mess my life has been over the past several years and trying to figure out how it could be different. And, I thought... why haven't I been using my reason that I use to solve the problems of others to solve my own problems? Then, I thought about how when I have a problem to solve over the many decades of my life or a work problem or more, I always had just pushed STOP on life, evaluated where I was, evaluated what I wanted, and made adjustments to get there.
I've mentioned in prior posts how I served in Artillery in National Guard and Active Duty and how that can teach us a thing or two about how to approach life. In artillery or even in shooting any weapon, you fire first. Then, you observe whether the shot fell like you wanted to do, and you made adjustments so that the next shot would be closer to the goal. When you fail at something in a way or a few ways or a lot of ways, you can feel overwhelmed and like a failrue, UNLESS you learn to see life like this. When you fail, you should push STOP, evaluate how your attempts and environment is progressing towards what you want, and then you LEARN from it and try again.
As I reflected on the past years and especially on the year immediately prior to this, I find that I was struggling and spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere towards what I desired. In fact, I was going backwards. I came out to be near to my child, and the change of events and the growth of the child made that less of a priority, leaving me to question my location. My health events that found me having to fend for myself without family nearby only REINFORCED my feeling already that I missed family that was back in Oklahoma that I never got to see. My reason evaluated the costs vs income of living in Oklahoma vs living in Florida, and there was really no comparison at that point. Florida's costs have kept me working harder than I have ever had to work for a lower living standard than I could have back out in the midwest. My texts to my child could be done equally from here or there, so there was really nothing holding me here at that point.
I also noted in a social media post several weeks ago about an old animated movie I saw as a kid. I think it was called Black Cauldron. In it, the man was fighting an evil wizard with spells, and he countered them with logic and fact and education. I was not saying anything about the use of magic or spells.. sometimes they can be useful. However, IN THE END, spells and wishes all bow to WHAT IS and WHAT NATURE dictates. You can try to influence that, but nature ultimately wears the crown. Logic, math, truth... these are the real powers that even the Dieties observe in their Scriptures and to whom they all must bow. If you don't want your car to break down... don't cross your fingers and chant happy happy thoughts. Go get it fixed and maintained. Then, you'll have the faith to drive it without fear.
I looked at my life, and I said... what do I want? I knew that I didn't want to keep struggling on the edge of bankruptcy and homelessness and need more money, so I began looking for a higher paying job, which I will continue to do till it happens. A great potential surfaced this week, but we will see. I knew I wanted to be able to send my child gifts from that money, and living in a cheaper place makes that more likely. I knew that I wanted family nearby, so moving back was a good idea. I didn't HAVE to waver over what to do. When I began to analyze what I desired, the rest wrote itself. I do also want romance, but that romance will be best enabled when I have established the rest, so I'm not thinking about it, til later.
So, I just wanted to cover this topic again, partially to remind myself and partially to help others. If you have a problem or problems in your life, your BRAIN will be more capable to solve those problems with reason than your emotions that waver or dreams that disappear or change. So, take the time to just push pause, look at things, and see where that leads you. It will probably be a more happy path.
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